Yeah, so I seem to have totally ditched BOW'11 the last few weeks. I didn't forget, exactly, I've just had other stuff on my mind. The last couple of weeks I've become unhealthily absorbed by one large, looming issue in my life. I spend pretty much all my time thinking about this issue, to the point where I have no other real hobbies or activities going on at the moment. This has resulted in me being a bit depressed and very anxious. It has also resulted in me being overly needy and clingy toward the few people in my life who are like me in this way, while shutting out the ones who aren't. (I'm sorry for being so vague - if I gave any details you'd be able to work out what was going on.) It's even gotten to the point where I am focusing on this issue at work rather than on how well I am doing my job.
I'm trying to accept myself where I am, by realizing that during this phase in my life it's natural to be consumed by this issue and to cling to those friends. I'm also trying to ground myself a bit and remind myself that there are plenty of other aspects to my life and who I am, so that even when this one issue gets rough I have other things that can make me happy. But it's really, really difficult to think about anything else. I don't have much emotional energy.
So that's what's up with me lately, and why I haven't been especially present or interesting to talk to. Once I work through some shit I will be my old self again. Or, hopefully, I will be my new self and be secure and happy that way.
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